Diary of a Manicurist

Your Cigarettes Make Me Sick

There’s this crazy woman in my cul-de-sac that sits on her balcony 24/7 and all she does is cough…and cough…and cough. Endlessly. Perhaps I would have a shred of compassion instead of irritation if she wasn’t contantly smoking cigarettes.  I don’t like to cough, do you? Does anyone? It’s annoying to do it and it’s annoying to hear it. There’s another woman I work with whose voice sounds like she’s gargling gravel and phlem. It’s hurts just to listen to her talk. She is obese, lethargic and coughs all the time too, and of course, she’s a cigarette smoker as well. 

What these two women have in common is that they’ve created their own misery and lower quality of life, which affects not only themselves but others around them, all because at one point in their younger years they decided that inhaling burning tobacco smoke and chemicals every day sounded like a good idea. Sexy!  Now look at them. Not so sexy.

I have a hard enough time dealing with my weight and health without breathing smoke every day. Being subjected to smoke against my will the majority of my life has caused me more sicknesses, from tonsilitis/strep throat to bronchitis and subsequent doctor bills, than every other illness and surgery I’ve ever had combined. People who deliberately destroy their own health (and others health!) with preventable actions like smoking make me passionately angry. I realize not all of us are born with the same intelligence level but how dumb…or arrogant…do you have to be to think you won’t end up like these women I described?  Or like the poor old people you see everywhere dragging oxygen tanks behind them? Or dead from lung cancer at age 55?  Wake up you idiot cigarette smokers! You’re ruining your own lives and the lives of everyone that has to be near you smelling and breathing your foul cigarette smoke and hearing the disgusting sounds you make with your constant coughing.  But I suppose if you don’t care enough about yourselves to not do that to your own body, you probably care even less about how you’re affecting others.

I am more than just a non-smoker. I am an anti-smoker. Not only do I choose to not destroy my health with cigarettes but you shouldn’t have the right to destroy yours either, if along with it, I and others are forced to breathe the smoke from your death stick against our will. I am sick of your stupid cigarettes making me sick.

Feels Like Playing a Game I Can’t Win

About 8 years ago, I had a reputation for being kinda “easy”, maybe even a little slutty. I looked hot; I was popular. Guys were waiting in line to go out with me. If I slept with them, they eventually went away, not wanting a relationship. If I didn’t sleep with them, they eventually went away, not wanting a relationship. Couldn’t win.

Around 2005, I chose to walk the walk of Christianity. Some say I “found Jesus” but the truth is my whole life I’ve always known Jesus. I simply decided one day that I shouldn’t call myself a Christian if I don’t act like one. So my reputation in just a few years went from being the easy chick to being the Jesus chick. Do you think high-quality, desirable men of integrity swarmed in, suddenly viewing me with affection & respect? Of course not. Now guys just assume that I’m a prude who thinks sex is wrong and dirty and they don’t even bother asking me out anymore, let alone consider a relationship with me. Still can’t win.

So what is it guys? You don’t want to marry the slut and you don’t want to marry the good Christian girl. Maybe, just maybe, if you considered anything besides your eyeballs and your penises for once, you’d discover some really cool girls out there over the age of 30 (pretty ones too!) who are a little bit of everything. Half rocker chick, half Jesus freak…the perfect combination of fun & integrity, adventurous & morally responsible, sex kitten & housewife…we’ll give you space to do what you do but we’ll make you want to live up to a higher set of standards.

When one of you finally understands this concept, maybe I’ll still be around.

Righteous Rebellion

Although it seems to some as if I’ve lived the last 10 years of my life in extreme rebellion against someone, isn’t such rebellion a good thing when it’s screams bubble up from deep inside that you must, above all things, be true to yourself?

No More Ms. Tough Chick

Had lunch with an ex-boyfriend on Monday. I used to get annoyed when he would treat me like I was clumsy & reckless. As he helped me cross a mud puddle in the rain, I realized all that time he was just treating me like I was fragile.

Hmmm…I think I kinda like that.
Goodbye tough chick facade. You no longer serve me.

Passion vs Indifference

I used to be so passionate and excited about everything I did and everything I liked. I was so passionate that it hurt. Then one day I decided that I didn’t want to hurt anymore so I learned how to control my emotions.  Now I feel nothing and I’m attached to nothing. Que sera, sera.
How ironic, the indifference hurts just as much.